The Interpretation
To start with I should say that it is very unlikely that this dream represents a real illness with your son. (You do not say whether he is normally healthy, but I am assuming that he is.) If he has had any serious illnesses in the past then this dream could be in part, replaying the trauma of that experience but I think there is more to this dream than that.
The first clue to this dream's meaning is your statement that you had a feeling of "in denial" about what was happening. You knew the answer to the question you posed to your son but you didn't really want to hear the answer.
Your son had sores in his mouth. The mouth represents communication and having a sore mouth relates to painful communication. Has your son said anything lately that hurt your feelings or is there something emotionally painful between you that is not being communicated openly?
The feelings we have in our dreams are so important and worth paying a lot of attention to. So thinking more broadly - what you could be in denial about in waking life? You also say at one point about feeling completely overwhelmed. What is overwhelming you in waking life?
Defence mechanisms, such as denial, are a tricky aspect of dream interpretation because in order to fully understand the dream's message we need to find a way to get past the defence. We have unconsciously put the defence in place to protect us from painful and difficult emotions.
I find the easiest way to get past a defence mechanism is to ask myself very honestly, "If there was something that I was not willing to admit to myself what would it be?" The first answer that comes to mind will be the right one.
A part of the dream that you find very distressing is the thought of your son leaving you within 24 hours - the time ticking down to his departure. You say your son is now going to medical school. I think this is why the dream scene was a medical one and not related to a health concern. The encephalitis also relates to the medical world. Your son will be learning about these kinds of things and leaving you behind in his knowledge.You don't say whether he is actually leaving home or not, but either way he is now grown up. Time is ticking down until he does leave home and becomes independent.
He is an adult and in some sense there is a feeling of loss for the little boy that you have cared for and nurtured. In the dream this loss has been represented as a death which is very common. Grief is a normal reaction to losing someone we love, even if they are just moving away (literally or metaphorically), Common feelings experienced in the grief state are of sadness, despair and anger as you described.
You shouting "let me die instead of him" is how most Mothers feel about their children - that they would die for them if need be. This reinterates that the dream is about the bond between mother and son.
Do you believe he is strong enough to manage on his own? Does he? The image of him being so sick makes me think there are doubts about it. Not neccessarily founded doubts, but maybe a fear that he can't manage the adult world on his own. Is he still very dependent on you for many of his needs? "Mom, what should I do for my last 24 hours?" In this statement it's like he's saying "Look Mom I've made a big decision for myself but I still need your advice and guidance."
Your son making the decision to die is about him taking charge of his life. It's his life and his decision. As parents we have to stand back and watch our children do this as they grow into adults. We no longer have the control we used to have when they were small and it's scary! We wonder if they will make the right decisions for themselves and whether poor decisions will cause them harm.
The triangle that features in your dream is interesting. A triangle can point to something, or point something out. It can also represent the triangular relationship between the child, mother & father. In your dream both representations could be true since it does seem the dream is "pointing something out" to you and also relating information about family relationships.
On this point, how might the dynamics of your relationship with your partner/husband change (if you have one) when your son does leave home? Or will you be left all on your own? Most parents struggle to come to terms with a child leaving home and accepting the changes this brings to their lives.
Have you and your son had a very close relationship? Is he the last or first child to leave the nest (which would be harder to cope with)? Do you feel dependent on him for something? Emotional support, companionship, love or affection? Will you stand to loose something you have relied on either emotionally or psychologically, when he does leave home?
I think in essence this dream was bringing your feelings to the surface about your son becoming an adult and how difficult you are finding it. Having a good cry when you woke up probably helped to release a good deal of these feelings, but maybe you could also consider having a chat wth your son about how you are feeling?
Love and warmest wishes to you! It's not easy being a Mom.
Susana
P.S. I'm glad that your dream showed you what ENCE meant because I don't think I would have ever worked that out!
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Dream Analysis and Dream Readings
Sapphire Dream Interpretation
Awareness - Intuition - Understanding - Experience
My first reaction to this dream is, " Do you feel the people around you secretly dislike your relationship with your boyfriend for some reason and would want to sabotage it?" Reasons could be that they don't think he's suitable or they don't like to see you happy.
Your first reactions to your dream are also really important to note. Your intuition can tell you so much about your dreams meaning and those first feelings you have when you think about it will give you a good start in interpreting it.
"i didn't feel any of the punches or anything" - This is a very good indictator that your dream was not telling you about a "real" fight between you and your boyfriend but something else.
"but it was like boxing or something" - Boxers generally do not hate or dislike each other when they fight, which reiterates the last statement about the fight not being "real". Many boxers box to entertain the crowd. There is a definite sense of that in your dream - that the fight is simply entertaining to the people around you and not about any bad feeling between you and your boyfriend. "i don't think we where even mad. i know i wasn't."
This begs the question of why would the people around you want to see you fight? Do they do things in real life to try and put a wedge between you?
"they had us turn off the lights" - this represents things happening out of sight. The people in your dream are trying to hide something from you. When it comes to destructive and sometimes unconscious feelings most people are not able to be honest about them and try to keep them hidden, yet their behaviour often alerts us to what is really going on. I think your intuition has picked up on something less than healthy in the attitudes of the people around you.
Related to the point above is this towards the end of your dream "the lights came on, and everyone was kinda doen their own thing" - this underlines how people are acting normally when they think other people are looking.
"i backed into a wall" - this sounds like a very common expression. To be backed into the wall means that you are being pushed and manipulated by someone or something into a situation that you can't escape from. Ask yourself who is doing this to you and what you can do about it. Sometimes just challenging it and bringing things out into the open will make whoever it is stop.
"him facing me, and people behind us ready to watch the fight. but i put his face between my hands and kissed him french and very deeply." The kiss is yours and your boyfriends' defiance against the people around you, like you're saying, "No I'm not going to fight him. I love him and you can't change that no matter what you do."
"but a lady who was cooking in the kitchen gave us a dirty look like she was dissapointed" In some ways this last statement is the key to understanding this dream. Why would the woman at the end be disappointed that you two were not fighting but loving instead? It's like she would prefer to see you fighting. She is showing you the real feelings of those around you.
If you haven't picked up anything along these lines from those around you in waking life then it could be that this is your internal saboteur at work! S/he tends to pop up when we have made positive steps and moved on from an old issue. S/he likes things to stay the same even when they are not good for us! The people in your dream could be representing parts of yourself rather than outside forces.
Sabotage is the theme but is it coming from outside or inside? What do you think?
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Fighting and Kissing Dream
"Last night I had a very real dream.
It was like we where in a living room it seemed like, and me and my boyfriend where having a phisical fight. i didn't feel any of the punches or anything. and i was throwing punches myself. but it was like boxing or something?
"people where around us cheering the other one on. i don't think we where even mad. i know i wasn't. no he does not hit me. he never has and never will. i know for a fact that isnt what the dream was about because then we took a small break, and they had us turn off the lights? and he started walking towards me. i backed into a wall and i could just make out the outlines of people behind him.
"so it was me against the wall, him facing me, and people behind us ready to watch the fight. but i put his face between my hands and kissed him french and very deeply. it lasted for a while. he was kissing me back and everyhitng went quite.
"i knew everyone was waitting for the fight to start again. and then after i pulled away, the lights came on, and everyone was kinda doen their own thing and he was smiling at me and kinda doen is own also. but a lady who was cooking in the kitchen gave us a dirty look like she was dissapointed."
The Interpretation
My Son Was Dying
In my dream, my 18 year old son was extremely ill and weak. I was standing next to him and looking at him as he was speaking to me and saw his lips were chapped and had open sores inside his mouth. I asked him "you have a bleeding sore in your mouth, why?". He responded back "oh, you know why Mom, it's because I'm sick". In the dream, I asked this question knowing why his mouth was the way it was, but had the feeling of "in denial" and asked him anyway.
Then, a white van with a triangle shaped symbol with the letters "ENCE" drove by and parked. I did not see anyone come out of the van. The next thing I saw in the dream was someone putting a watch on my son. It had a black band and it was cheap plastic. It had a round face with white background and the symbols "ENCE" with the triangle on the face, just like the symbol on the van.
The person said to my son, "okay we will set the watch for 24 hours, do you understand?". My son said "yes I do....Mom what should I do for my last 24 hours?". In my dream I was overwhelmed thinking that my son had called this company to come and put this watch on him and set it for 24 hours. At the end of the 24 hours, he dies.
My son was so sick and he had made up his mind he didn't want to suffer any longer. He was sick with Encephalitis, and that is what the "ENCE" stood for.
Well, after this thought process in my dream I was so upset and I screamed "let me die instead of him" and I was banging my hand against a wall, just crying and screamed this one more time....then I woke up crying hysterically for 2 hours......
The next day, I clearly remembered the dream just as I do right now. Also, I've only heard of Encephilits and never new what it was. I did a search on the internet and it is a fatal brain infection.
Please help me to understand the meaning of this very disheartening dream. The details are so vivid it is so strange and sad for me.
Emotions I felt were sadness, anger, despair.
Recent Events My son just graduated high school and he just started to go to Emergency Medical Technician School. This is the ONLY recent event in mine or my son's life right now.
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A Strange Nightmare
I rarely have nightmares and for the most part the nightmares are generally normal dreams with a 'strange' feel to them. I know it's a nightmare because of how I emotionally feel not because of what's going on in the dream. Stupid I know. Last night I had a nightmare where I literally woke up screaming. That's only happened one other time in my life and I was a young kid. Then my nightmare was so bad I actually somehow got out of bed and hid under it without waking up. Last night's dream was, well, unusual.
There were no monsters, death, snakes, large animals, shadows. Nothing to indicate it was a nightmare at all. Maybe I should tell you that I am a very vivid dreamer. I am always aware I am dreaming and I have the capacity to change my dreams like changing the channel on a t.v. I was dreaming about nothing paricularly interesting and actually think (you know the fog of memory has taken hold since waking and actually dreaming) I was in the process of switching from dream to dream when a long vertical, slightly irregular black line showed up and scared the begezus out of me. Not startled. Frieghtened.
Even though I knew it was just a line it scared me to look at it or think about it. It blinked away and then showed up three more times. Frieghtening me to the extent I was screaming in the dream and out loud in the real world. But I knew in the dream and even now, knew clearly it was just a black verticle line. Similar to those lines you would see on the screen of an old movie at a theatre.
I have no idea what it meant or why in the world it would freighten me. Like I said my nightmares are so infrequent that when I actually have one it disturbs me to the point of almost obsession. I don't dream the future, but my nightmares have always had a close connection to reality and have generally been my subconscience's way of warning me of something it picked up on and my conscience overlooked.
Since this dream was SO disturbing I am worried about what it may mean. If I can't figure it out I stress I will end up making some huge mistake due to ignorant action that afterward I will smack my forehead and so, "OOOOH! That's what it meant." I hate the whole hindsight thing so if you know what the heck this line could possible represent I would be hugely greatful.
What an interesting dream/nightmare! Any dream can be regarded as a nightmare if you feel frightened/anxious/scared/terrified. You're absolutely right to say it's the feelings/emotions involved that make it a nightmare and not necessarily the content of the dream.
When we have these kinds of feelings in nightmares they usually relate to something we have blocked from conscious awareness at some point in the past - often during childhood. The good news is that the nightmare has come to you because you are now ready to deal with whatever the distress was.
Now for the interpretation of this symbol.......
This is not a symbol I have considered or been asked to interpret before. When this happens this is the thinking process I go through to try to make sense of it:
I'm thinking about "a line"............
- What characteristics does a line embody........?
- What is special about a line...........?
- Are there any common expressions that this dream symbol could be visually representing..........?
While I'm tossing over these questions in my mind I go for the first answers that I get and work from there. (This is intuition at work!)
Heres what I came up with:
- The saying, "the end of the line". Have you got to the end of the line with something? Absolutely had enough of something in your life?
- A line can be the beginning of something - "a starting line". Do you feel it's time to start on a new path or maybe make a fresh start but you are scared to?
- A line can divide something in two. Are you in some way divided? Or were you forced to be at some point in the past? Has your life somehow been divided into two parts?
- A line can cut off one part from another. Have you cut off a part of yourself? Or cut yourself off from someone? Maybe it relates to the line between your conscious and unconscious mind - getting so close to your unconscious would be terrifying.
- You can "draw a line under" something. Is it time to draw a line under something in your life? ie: move on from it.
If one of these questions/statements resonates with you stick with it and try to relate it to some aspect of your life both now and in the past.
Let me know how you get on!
With very best wishes,
Susana
The Interpretation
The Response
Wow - that's pretty amazing Susana! The statement that jumped out at me was, "A line can divide something in two". I started to think about how this might fit in with my life at the moment and what came to mind was how different I am at home with my partner as opposed to work. It is like I'm two different people and I've never really understood this. At work I'm a hotshot - organized, go getter, ambitious, great communicator, confident, friendly, popular. At home I'm the opposite - insecure, grumpy, critical, distant, depressed....my girlfriend is getting pretty pissed off with it!
You said that often these things go back to childhood and so I started thinking about that as well. What I described above about being like two different people was just how my Dad was. I hadn't thought about that for a long time - how horrible he was to us. When this flash about my Dad came to me (now don't laugh!) I started crying. Then I got furious. It really got to me. It's painful to know that I've been doing the same thing as him - that's the hard thing because I hated him for it. But at least I can start doing something about it now.
I talked to my girlfriend about it and we seem to have moved on a bit. I know I'm not done with this yet and I'm going to need to do a bit more self reflection to nail this one but I'm really glad that I asked for help with this dream! It feels like something tight is unravelling and though it's been painful it feels good as well!
Thanks for your insight Susana :)
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